i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
