Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
