This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
