Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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