Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm at about main and main street
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
