ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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