i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You made out with two different species that night
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
