well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
