Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
