You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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