You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize