drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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