margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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