so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she told me i tasted like america
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize