Whatcha textin bout Willis?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
