idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
