My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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