No stitches, just platelets and will power
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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