Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
