Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
