I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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