you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize