what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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