oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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