Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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