in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
