Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
