Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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