i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
this just has baby written all over it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize