I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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