I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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