I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
