I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Holy sore nipples Batman
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
