it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
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