Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize