im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
