i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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