Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
