Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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