Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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