erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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