He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
