So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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