Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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