hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
