your room smells of hookers.
And success
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
