escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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