didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
