I wish I could punch you in the face.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
