i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
