We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize