I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
