Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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