Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Boobs are out for the taking
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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