dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
