I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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