I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize