sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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