she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My balls are so social today.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
